In Memoriam: Uncle Ted

In Memoriam

Uncle Marion T. (Ted) Carrico

Dec. 5, 1936 - April 25, 2013

Four months ago at my brother Kurtis’ wake service, when I was last able to see Uncle Ted, he told me that I’d be celebrating his funeral soon. At the time I thought that while Ted was obviously beginning to take a turn for the worst, we would still have more time for all of that. Don’t we always think we will have more time? Anyways it turns out that he was right; he waited so to speak, two days before my ordination to pass from this world. Just close enough to ensure that I would be here now. Given the short time between my ordination and today’s celebration one might naturally ask what this newbie could possibly have to say. Fair question, and while my life experiences will continue to add up there is one thing that years of study have shown me, and that is the simple fact that God is the perfection of all things. We’ll return to that theological point here in a minute.  

  

In preparing for this homily I asked dad what people would think if I called Uncle Ted stubborn. No need to cause scandal, right? His answer: people will say you pretty much hit the nail on the head. I think we can all agree that Ted could be a bit stubborn from time to time. Right Aunt Caroline, Aunt Deloris? 

God, however, is the perfection of stubbornness. Yes God is even perfectly stubborn. We hear in the Gospel that this is the will of the Father, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in him may have eternal life. God does not let go, once God has a connection with a person typically first made real in Baptism God never lets go. God is so stubborn that he never gave up on us, going as far as sending his only soon as God made man. This is surety of faith that God will never give up on us, no matter what.

Uncle Ted was more than just stubborn he was also giving. It is striking to think about just how many people have one of Ted’s puzzles. Between family, friends, neighbors, even his cancer doctor I’m told was given a completed puzzle. In this way Ted was a symbol of the perfect generosity of the Father in the act of sending his Son.  In fact one of my favorite memories of Uncle Ted was him sending over a bunch of DVD’s when I had my wisdom teeth removed. No one asked him to help keep me entertained while I recovered, but he knew it would take some time for the drugs to wear off, and he knew what he’d like to have if he was only able to sit around the house all day. Turns out we’re of the same mind when it comes to recovery techniques.

Uncle Ted could also be playful; stories of him sitting around at the convenient store, talking with the regulars as they came and went, make his memory all the more real. Sometimes the pointed jokes between old friends can seem hurtful, especially to those on the outside, but underneath it is a real sign of trust and concern for the other. God is the perfection of this kind of playfulness. I would never say that God shows his playfulness through cancer, human suffering is not God’s idea of a bad joke, but rather Ted’s humanness in the face of that pain reveals God’s true playfulness. Where did Ted get the courage to continue his visits to the store, where did that desire for one more round of golf get its energy? There is something human about trying to find the good in bad situations and I believe this is connected to God’s playfulness, God’s perfect ability to see the good within the bad and through a wisecrack in every now and then.  I wonder what God’s last little dig for this self-proclaimed bachelor would be? I imagine for a man that never wanted a women to tell him what to do it would be Grandma, his mother, showing him around his new place telling him all about how she’s done things while waiting for him to join her and his father in God’s loving embrace.