Put an End to Childish Ways

When I was a child, I spoke like a child,

I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child;

when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:11

I want nothing more than to publicly swear that I have never spoken in a way that is demeaning, or insulting, towards women, but I cannot, and I admit that; I have spoken in ways that I am ashamed of... and I’m sorry. I am sorry for all the times I have told a crude joke or said something negative about a woman based on her looks or being a woman; I am sorry for all the times that I have used ‘locker-room talk.’ What I can do is assure everyone who cares to hear it that I now do my utmost to avoid such talk. I believe that to talk in such a way is childish, and not the way that a true man speaks. Just as Saint Paul tells us, he put an end to childish ways, and speaking down to women - joking about sexually assaulting women - is not only childish, it is dangerous, because it perpetuates a culture that uses, and abuses, women and then trivializes such behavior as ‘boys being boys.’ It is not just boys being boys; it is an aspect of the culture of death that degrades people and makes use of others for one’s twisted pleasure.* It saddens me to see men, and women, defend such talk as anything but an insult to every human person on this earth. 

For she is fearfully and wonderfully made! ~ Psalm 139:14

When I hear women talk about the vile things they hear from complete strangers as they walk down the street I’m appalled that any man could speak in such a way and not instantly be overcome with their mother’s disapproving voice ringing in their ears! Perhaps that is part of the problem - perhaps the disapproval of our mothers is no longer enough, perhaps the disapproval of our fathers is needed? Thus my intention in writing this reflection, to publicly declare my disapproval, as a spiritual father, for any such language or verbal abuse. We must recognize this behavior for what it is - an assault on the dignity of every human person!   

My dear sisters in Christ, this does not discount your role in upholding the dignity of your fellow women. It is my understanding that you can often be judgmental and insulting towards one another, sometimes based on the same trivial and superficial characteristics that men use to demean women. We must all put aside childish ways and together work diligently to build up the Body of Christ, otherwise we all suffer the same indignity. 

*Saint John Paul II, EVANGELIUM VITAE ¶12